Anxiety Is Not Welcome Here

“Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up.”

- Proverbs 12:25 (NLT).

“For I hold you by your right hand – I, the Lord your God. And I say to you, ‘Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you."

- Isaiah 41:13 (NLT).

“Avoid having panic attacks. Attack the panic instead.”

- My friend, Prince.

I shared the below on my WhatsApp status a few weeks ago.

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So I have a testimony for y'all. Should have been a blogpost, but too lazy for that.

I used to struggle with worrying a lot. In primary school, I'd have panic attacks if my mum was late to pick me from school. I was happy when I got to boarding school because I wouldn't have to worry about that. But boarding school came with its own worries, and I remember feeling panicked so many times. Later, that worry blossomed into a fear of losing my loved ones. Any time I received a call from anyone when I was in uni, I would get sweaty, and my heart would start beating way too fast.

I got extremely tired of always panicking and I cried out to God about this. He helped me see how useless and futile worrying was. Jesus said it in Matthew 6:27 (NLT) where He said

"Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?"

This night though, I found myself slipping into old habits and worrying about the quality of the work I had sent to my supervisor. I have found myself worrying about my job too many times, scared that it might be taken away from me. It was so bad that I was even dreaming about the work and kept on waking up in the middle of the night to check my emails.

I remembered the verse in Philippians 4 about worrying and I decided to do exactly that. I prayed to God about what was disturbing me and thanked Him for His continuous faithfulness to me, especially in delivering me from trouble. And I got peace. The Word of God works guys.

Also, when my supervisor sent back the work to me, she only made a few changes. So, my work was okay, and I was losing sleep over nothing.

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A few days after sharing this testimony, I had a full blown panic attack. This was a shock because I had just given the testimony of how God delivered me from worry and anxiety. But here I was a few days later having a full blown panic attack by 6am in the morning.

Lately, my source of anxiety has been my job. My last blogpost was about how I felt like an imposter in Christian gatherings. Well, I feel the same in my workplace. I always worry about how my supervisors view me, the quality of my work, and whether I would even have a job.

I came across a post on Instagram that said we should not confuse worrying with being responsible. I thought that by worrying, it meant that I was taking my job seriously. But worrying does not increase the quality of my work. Jesus said it in Matthew 6:27. Worrying does nothing.

So, I have gone back to God with everything that is bothering me, and I have asked that He helps me give my best at work and also have peace knowing I have given my best. The verses at the beginning of the blogpost, particularly Isaiah 41:3, have been my antidote to the anxiety that comes from my work. God said He will help me, and I trust Him.

Anxiety is not welcome here.

I love you and God loves you more.