For God's Glory or For My Fame?

Hi Guys. It’s been a while.

I’ve been rethinking everything in my life for the past few months. My career, my music, why I’m alive, my relationship with God, and this blog.

This blog will soon be a year old and I started it because I felt like God wanted me to start it. I think I have gone through experiences which I can share, and I even have more coming. And I like to share, even when I’m not asked. But I began to get frustrated because I was not getting the feedback I expected.

To be honest, the frustration mainly came from my music. I’ve always wanted to pursue music. My answer for “What do you want to be when you grow up?” has remained consistent over the years – a musician. Obviously, I now have other ambitions, but music remains number one. When I learnt how to play the guitar, I began posting snippets of videos of me singing and playing the guitar to show my friends how far I’d gone in learning how to play the guitar. But it became something more. It was an avenue for me to spread God’s message through music and I was loving it. At some point though, I began to get satisfaction and validation from people’s praises for my musical talent (which is not that great tbh). And the praises kept on reducing and reducing until they were non-existent.

So, I got frustrated that I was not receiving the feedback I expected for these two things, this blog and my music. I decided that I’d just stop both and forget about ever having a music career, because it’s hard to blow, lol. Then God showed me one of my problems in relation to this.

When did all of God’s gifting change from being used for His glory to being used for my fame? Why was I so fame-hungry? Wouldn’t it be okay if my work touched just one life? Wouldn’t it be okay if that one life was mine?

I’ve heard this phrase being used a number of times, “Live your life for an audience of one” and I have tried to live by it and failed. I’ll just admit that I want to be popular. But as I’m admitting this, I also realise that this is not the goal and I am trusting God to work on my heart, to change it.

Indeed, God is the only person that matters in this whole thing. People might praise my voice today and hate it tomorrow. God is the only constant. At the end, everything I do is to glorify Him. I am just a conduit of what He is trying to do. And I hope I never lose sight of that.

Over the past few years, God has spoken to me about projects He would like me to embark on that I’ve held back from doing mostly because I feel like no one cares. While it might be true that no one cares, God does, so here it goes. I have started a podcast! It's called Masterpiece Musings! You can access it by clicking on the name. It’s basically just me worshipping God through singing and inviting other people to join in. I’m quite vulnerable on this podcast. I hope you listen to it and enjoy God's presence. More importantly, let God take all the glory.

I decided to put this out there because I might not be the only person that struggles with this. I pray that God helps us all to live for only Him and only His opinion. Is there anything that God asked you to do that you’ve holding back on for whatsoever reason? Well, this is a reminder. God is waiting for you. I love you and God loves you more.