Running On An Empty

Hi there.

I know, it’s been a while and I’m sorry.

I had actually written a few blogposts after my last one because I was ready to be consistent with the blog. But what happened? Yeah, I started the podcast, and I was not sure how to do the scheduling perfectly. Unfortunately, this blog and the podcast are not exactly popular and if I don’t put it in people’s faces, none of them would get views (or plays). But it can be really tiring to keep promoting both the blog and the podcast the whole of the week. So, I decided to hold off on the blog first and focus on the podcast. Also, I wasn’t feeling the posts I had written, and I wasn’t in the mood to redo them, at least not yet.

More annoyingly was the fact that I wasn’t in the mood to pursue a relationship with God. Somewhere in my head, I feel like a relationship with God shouldn’t be work. And it isn’t work but it is at the same time. For anything to succeed, you have to put work into it, including relationships, including our relationship with God. But my relationship was looking like a lot more work than I was ready to take on. My job is already too tasking and just the thought of putting effort anywhere else made me cry.

This meant that I didn’t have anything to give to others in terms of the content I was releasing. This was extremely evident in my podcast. Thankfully, I had recorded most of the episodes before this situation I found myself in but I couldn’t even find the right words for the content I was putting out on the Instagram page I created for this (@masterpiece_musings).

Not only this, but I was swimming in disobedience to God. I basically indulged in everything God had asked me NOT to do. I was a mess.

When the month of June began, I decided to take a break from the podcast and the Instagram page. A well needed break. God helped me find my way back to Him and He helped me with all I was struggling with in relation to content creation. If you’ve listened to my podcast, you would know.

I don’t exactly have a purpose for the blogpost. Maybe the lesson here is that you can’t give what you don’t have. God does not expect you to do His work without relying on Him as the source. And if at any point your service to God has overtaken your relationship with Him, you should take a step back from everything you are doing. Your service to God is important. But the state of your soul matters to Him more.

The podcast has kind of resumed, I released an episode last week and I have one more episode in season one coming out this Friday. However, I am not sure where the podcast is heading after that episode. I’m waiting to hear what God has to say. As for the blog, more content is coming here. I think the reason I was not happy with what I had written before is because I wanted it to be perfect. But I will release it nonetheless, let God use it to accomplish what He wishes to accomplish.

My next post will be one I wrote in January this year. It’s quite a vulnerable post and I was not going to release it but I feel like someone needs to see it. I’m sorry that this post is all over the place.

I love you and God loves you more.